Discovering Temperance
by Iceache
Summary: Booth fights his feelings for Brennan in an attempt to save a new relationship. Trying to maintain a distance between his personal and professional life he finds himself confused about the direction that his feelings for his partner are taking.
1. Chapter 1

Temperance Brennan….Temperance Brennan, he repeats the name over and over in his head. What does that name mean? More importantly, what does that name mean to him? And why, when he can't sleep at night is hers the only name that comes to mind? Booth turns onto his side and watches the light breathing of the woman next to him, her chest rising and falling with the steady thrum of life. His eyes roam over her perfect nose and full lips, her perfect hair and lastly the outline of her perfect body beneath his sheets. Flopping onto his back once more he throws an arm over his eyes and sighs, Temperance Brennan…. She is fire and ice, and the only reason why the woman lying next to him will never be enough. He swings his legs over the side of the bed and creeps through to the lounge quietly and over to a window. Leaning against it he stares out of the blinds and into the empty street, the wall cool beneath his palm, and wonders what she is doing right now.

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She sits at her desk, the lights in the lab have long been out, the only light now is the soft glow from her desk lamp and the glare from her notebook, folding her hands behind her head she leans back in the chair. Her eyes glance up to the clock on the other side of the room and she contemplates the time. She's too wired to sleep, but she's too tired to continue working. Her thoughts drift to Booth and how things between them have been strained recently. She feels like he is purposefully trying to avoid her, ever since he started seeing someone new a few months ago, the amount of time that they have spent together has become less and less. Sighing she closes the notebook and grabs her coat from behind her chair. With one last look around the office she turns off the desk lamp and leaves.

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Brennan steps out of the elevator and fingers her keys looking for the one that unlocks the door to her apartment. When she looks up her eyes meet those of a sheepish looking Booth. He is sitting against her apartment door, two 6 packs of beer at his side. He pushes himself to his feet and brings the cans up along with him. She smiles gently and nods silently as she wanders past him to open the door. He follows her inside and kicks it shut behind him as she busies herself turning on the lights. Booth places the cans on the table and shrugs his jacket off, throwing it over the arm of the chair. Brennan takes a seat next to him and he hands her a can wordlessly. She pulls the tab and takes a long sip form the can, matching his own actions. He leans back in the sofa and regards her curiously.

"Is everything ok Booth?" She doesn't turn to look at him, she merely takes another sip from the can and stares ahead at the lamp in the corner of the room. He nods, mainly to himself since her eyes won't meet his.

"Yes. Everything's fine… I couldn't sleep. I wanted to see you." This causes her to turn to him, he can see the confusion hiding behind her eyes. "I miss you Bones. I realise that's mainly my fault, I've kept my distance from you." Her eyes drop to the can in her hand and she nods gently. "Ever since I met Gemma, I've tried to separate my work from my personal life. I guess I didn't want the same thing to happen with me and her that happened with Tessa… I guess I didn't want you to get in the way."

He sneaks a look at her, but her eyes are still fixed to the can she is holding in her hand. After a couple of moments he reaches out and touches her hand. "You won't ask me why? Or how you would get in the way… Which leads me to think that you already have a good idea."

She can feel the tension rising, her heart is thumping in her chest, her palms are too warm against the cool can and his touch is searing through her flesh. Dizzy with anticipation and fear she pushes up from the sofa and places the can on the table. Booth watches her walk over to the window, he knows she is afraid to hear him confess what he's feeling, and he is certain that she too is confused by the constant turmoil in her heart. The glow from the lamp against her skin makes her seem too pale and he can only manage to look at her for a few seconds before he feels ill.

"Bones?" She doesn't answer, just continues to stare into the street. He pushes up from the sofa and walks up behind her, she can feel his ever near presence, this time invading her personal space. He places a hand on her arm "Bones look at me." She reluctantly looks up into his eyes and is taken aback by the pure emotion that she sees there. "Bones ask me why?"

As his gaze bores into her own she tries to find the strength to comply, but the fear over rides her, the emotions fail her and instead she feels herself withdrawing from him. Tears threaten to spill from her eyes as the need to obey his request becomes overwhelming. She shakes her head sorrowfully and his face falls at her denial. "I can't" it comes out as a whisper, but her voice seems to ring in his ears. She pulls her arm free from his gentle grasp and tries to walk past him. For a second he thinks of letting her go but a single moment of clarity forces him to pull her back and into him. Her eyes wide with shock meet his before he presses his lips to hers, his hands threading into her hair. His lips are soft on hers but persistent and it's not long before she begins to respond to his persistent ministrations. Adrenaline and desire course through her body and her hands grip onto the sides of his shirt, her head is heavy and she feels as though she is drugged… the realization of what they are doing hits her full force as she feels him backing her up against a wall, his kisses becoming more desperate. With a quick push from her he has backed up from her, his breathing labored by passion and desire and eyes hooded with lust. She meets his eyes with an apology and shakes her head before heading to her bedroom and closing the door.

Booth wipes a hand over his face and sighs. With a quick glance at the bedroom door he grabs his jacket and leaves her apartment. She wanted him, even if just for a second, she wanted him… and it may just be enough to get him through tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

She sits and stares at the door, her legs curled under herself on the mattress. Her heart has slowed to a calm murmur and she has lost count of the seconds, minutes, hours since he left. The nauseous fear that had knotted itself in her stomach has dulled but her palms still feel too warm in the cool air. He'd kissed her. She'd kissed him back. That was the simple truth of the matter, she had wanted him, she'd shown him how much she'd wanted him and now it was something that she couldn't take back. She couldn't take that away from him, but she couldn't deny it to herself any longer either. She realizes now that by walking away she has sent him to lie in the arms of another woman, Gemma. Gemma, that barrier that divides them, for him Gemma is hope, for her Gemma is a threat.

As the reality of the evening catches up with her she feels the first tears escape from her eyes and she swipes at them frantically. Now is not the time to allow emotions to take over her, she needs her dignity and strength to be able to face him again. She'll need all of the strength that she has to deal with her next encounter with the young beautiful woman who shares his bed. Somewhere along the line her respect and admiration for him has transformed into something more real, more terrifying than anything she has ever experienced, and she decides that now is the time to end this foolish fantasy. It can never work, she should have forced him away the moment his lips touched her own. She reaches up and gently touches her fingers to her lips, imagining that she can still feel his gentle warm kisses. Another tear falls from her eyes unbidden, and she knows that she is tired, tired of the lies, tired of the fear… But most of all she is exhausted from the fighting, continuously trying to be strong in his eyes. Falling back onto the bed she closes her eyes and allows sleep to come over her.

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He sits in the darkness of his apartment, somehow he is strangely comforted by the blackness surrounding him. His fingertips burn with the recent memory of her flesh under them and he lets a gentle sigh out. Tonight he'd over stepped his boundary, with her… with his own morals. He'd never once been unfaithful to a woman, but with her, she was all he could see. His need had been burning within him, the need to touch her, to feel her melt into him and at the time it was worth any guilt that he would later feel. Sitting here now, the guilt was starting to creep in, only ten feet away from his current position lay a woman who had earlier confessed love for him… A woman who was perfect in every way but one. She wasn't Temperance Brennan.

He lays his head back on the sofa and folds his hands over his eyes. He has an indescribable feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach, not something due to the guilt of his recent actions, something deeper than that, the fear of loss.. Of losing something that he has only just begun to discover. Temperance Brennan. He knows exactly what that name means to him now. It means complication, pain, desire, need… it means love. He swings his legs up onto the sofa, knowing that he doesn't deserve a place next to the warm body occupying his bed, instead he closes his eyes to dream of swollen lips and the fire in her eyes.

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She wakes up to the shrill song of her telephone. Her eyes adjust to the light streaming through her forgotten blinds and she groans inwardly as she fumbles for the receiver. "Hello……No thank you, I already have a new kitchen." Hanging the phone on its cradle she lies back in the bed and thinks of the previous evening, of the dreams filled with lust and passion that occupied her sleep "Get a grip Temperance!" She swings her legs out of the bed and potters into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, coming back through from the kitchen she hears a gentle knock from her door. She puts her coffee down on the sideboard and goes to answer. On opening the door she is surprised to see him there and makes no move to invite him in. Her emotions are still raw from the previous evening and she needs more time to build up her defenses, looking at him however she can see the same raw emotion etched into his features. He looks past her into the apartment and then nods slowly as he understands her reluctance to allow him any further into her territory.

"I just came by to apologise Bones. I took it too far, I took advantage of your trust, your respect." She meets his eyes again and nods before lowering her eyes to the floor quickly, afraid that he will read her as easily as he always does. He puts a gentle finger under her chin and lifts her face until her eyes lock with his. "I just want to hear it from you.." The confusion spreads over her features quickly. "I want you to tell me that you don't feel it too, it's the last you'll hear of it from me." Taking his finger from beneath her chin she struggles for the words, feeling them hanging from the tip of her tongue but refusing to leave her lips, her breath hitches slightly as tears threaten to form again and her throat feels dry. She shakes her head slowly, and he nods in understanding, his eyes immediately lowering to the ground. She realizes his mistake in the meaning of that shake of her head but she doesn't have the strength to correct him. She allows him to leave, believing that she doesn't want him, believing that she doesn't feel the same gravitational pull towards him that he is feeling for her. As she closes the door and leans against it her head pounds. Relationships before have never been so complicated, she's never felt this confused before, in fact…she doesn't think she has ever _felt_ before and now that she is finally starting to feel she is terrified.

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_Thanks for all the reviews. Reviews allow the wheels to keep turning. _


	3. Chapter 3

Booth wanders into his apartment and closes the door behind him, he hears a sound in the kitchen and wanders through to have a look, Gemma is stretching up into the cupboard and pulling out a mug, she turns to look at him and smiles before she reaches for another one. He allows his eyes to roam over her legs, the over-sized t-shirt teasing her thighs as she stretches. Her hair falls around her shoulders in dark ringlets and he watches her with a male appreciation. Placing the mugs on the counter she makes her way over to him at the door and smiles gently, the smile is quickly replaced with a look of genuine concern and she raises a hand to his forehead. He takes her hand from his head and clasps it gently in his.

"Are you okay Seeley? You look worn out." He kisses the back of her hand gently and nods.

"I'm fine. I just had trouble sleeping last night…. Guess it was too warm… Honestly, it's nothing to worry about. Just tired." This seems to appease her and she leans forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He accepts her gesture and when she deepens the affection he does not refuse her. In a few moments she is against the kitchen counter, their bodies flush against each other, his hands roaming on her thighs, as she sighs into his mouth he is back in Brennan's apartment reliving last night's events. His mind replaces the woman in his arms with the one that he wished was in them, all of the pent up passion and repressed feelings from the past 24 hours pour into his response to Gemma. As her fingers scratch across the surface of his skin he groans, and pushes her further into the counter moving his lips from hers to her neck and shoulder. It takes her sigh of his birth name to bring him back to reality. Instead of continuing with his ministrations, he lays his forehead on her shoulder and lets out a deep sigh. She leans back to look into his eyes. He can't face the understanding that he sees there, the gentle acceptance of his rejection of her. She thinks that he's too tired to continue and as she turns to continue making the coffee, he is appalled when he realises that he has lost count of the number of times he has replaced her in his mind with another woman when they have made love.

"Where did you go this morning?" Her back still to him, she doesn't see his closed eyes as he prepares for another lie.

"I had to go to the office, needed to pick up a file… Listen, forget coffee for me. I think I am just gonna take a shower." He turns and leaves her alone before she has time to question him any further, his mind is reeling with anger and shame. He knows she deserves much better than him, but he also knows that he is too selfish to let her go.

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Standing under the spray from the shower head he allows the hot water to sear his skin, to wash away the remnants of both women. But the lies and the guilt remain with him. He leans his hands against the wall and closes his eyes. Images of Brennan flash through his mind, the look in her eyes before his lips had met hers for the first time, the fire that remained burning in the icy pools of her eyes as she pushed him away. He had seen her desire, quickly replaced by the fear that had swept over her all too quickly. In his mind, her face morphs into that of Gemma. So accepting, caring… a gentle warmness that forever resides within her eyes. Nothing like the fire and ice of the anthropologist who monopolizes his every waking thought. He knows that he needs to get away, spend some time alone to come to terms with his feelings for both women. Gemma was an angel, a soft, gentle caring angel. But Brennan, she was passion, determination and strength….and most importantly she made him feel alive. Shutting off the shower head he shakes the water from his hair and steps out of the cubicle to grab a towel.

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2 Days Later

Brennan catalogues another civil war body and places the bones gently into a box to be stored within the vaults. She hands the box to a young apprentice and puts her hands into her pockets before making her way back to her office. As she is nearing the office door she catches sight of Booth, for a split second she contemplates turning and walking away from him but he meets her gaze and she is suddenly cornered by his stare. Continuing on her path to her office her steps fall in sequence with his and he chivalrously holds the office door open for her to enter. She gestures to the chair in her office and closes the door behind them before seating herself gently in her chair. His eyes move slowly from her hands on the desk to her eyes.

"Do we have a case?" Her voice is distant and carefully void of emotion. He shakes his head and looks down at his hands.

"No we don't. I came for purely personal reasons…. And before you start to worry, I'm not here about you know what… I think that we both now understand where we are on that issue. I just came to let you know that we won't have any cases in the next month or so. I'm going away for a while. I had vacation time that I needed to take, and, well I just think that I need a break from this." He gestures around him, his hand stopping in front of her. She looks down at her folded hands quickly and bites her bottom lip.

"Where will you be?" He looks at her then, a glimmer of hope in his eyes as he waits for her to meet his gaze, she refuses to instead concentrating on a pen on the desk and the hope fades. Standing up he forces a smile.

"I'm not sure. Not that it matters, just won't be here….and I think right now, it's what I need. For me." She finally meets his eyes and nods, her expression giving nothing away. The inner turmoil that she is once again experiencing in his presence doesn't show. She wants to ask if he'll be going wherever he is going alone, she wants him to ask her to go with him, even knowing that she cannot accept.. she doesn't understand the conflicting desires within her only that she hopes that he will be alone. "I'll see ya Bones." She looks up as he approaches the door.

"Booth?" He turns to look at her. "Angela always said that running away from a problem never solves it." He smiles bitterly and shakes his head.

"Apparently staying and trying to solve it doesn't work either Bones." Her face falls at that as she watches him leave. Outside the office door she watches Angela stop and exchange a few words with him. Smiles are exchanged and she is suddenly envious of her best friend's ability to receive his positive attentions. After a few more moments Booth leaves and Angela enters the office oblivious to the conflict in her friend's life.

"Hey Ange….wanna go out tonight. I feel like drinking." Angela's face lights up at her friend's request and she smiles brightly.

"Be still my heart, Bren is choosing booze over bodies!" Brennan looks down at her desk and then lets her eyes wander to the seat that Booth had just been in.

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_Is it taking too long to get into? Sorry. _


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks had passed and there had been no word from Booth. She'd learned from Angela that he'd gone north; his family had a cabin in Alaska. Angela continued to make references to the length of his absence, but she had remained silent on the subject mentioning only that he had too much vacation time and that the FBI was forcing him to take it. During his absence she was plagued with the thought that Gemma was with him. She'd met her once, it was brief, but it was long enough to know that Gemma was everything that she could never be. The woman who had faced her seemed to glow from somewhere within and he had beamed in her presence. She rises from her desk and goes out to the lab, the guys are huddled together in front of a pc with their backs turned to her. She walks up behind them and peers over their shoulder.

"What are you looking at?"

Hodgins sighs and turns to the others. "Busted." She looks at him and Angela rolls her eyes.

"Sweetie, I was just showing Jack and Zack what Gemma looks like… she is doing an interview today, something to do with a donation that some charity is making to her hospital. Booth told me about it."

Suddenly she was very interested, "Is it live?" Angela nods and Jack lets up a deep satisfied sigh. Brennan looks to him quickly.

"Booth is one lucky son of a gun. She is a hottie." Angela nods in agreement and Zack pulls a funny face.

"She isn't my type. I prefer auburn hair…" His eyes flit to Brennan quickly and he blushes, although oblivious to him Angela does manage to roll her eyes. Brennan clears her throat gently.

"So? Gemma didn't go with Booth?" Angela looks at her distractedly and shakes her head.

"No, she's going up to meet him next week I think, at last he said something like that." Brennan's face falls and Angela catches the quick change. Brennan forces a smile and nods. Walking away from the desk she heads back to the office.

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Booth looks from his book to his watch, placing the book down on a side table he stretches and yawns. The cabin is rich and comfortable in furnishings and the time spent alone here has been rewarding. He has come to a decision, it hadn't been easy but he was certain of what he needed to do now. The first week had been plagued with thoughts of Brennan..the second only with thoughts of Gemma. Gemma was so easy to care for, she was soft, gentle, kind. Sometimes he was sure that she was too good for him and he had spent many confused hours trying to sort through his feelings for both women. He'd found his answer, he knew exactly what he needed to do when he got home. He knew that he needed to talk to both women. He wasn't looking forward to facing either of them, but he knew that the truth would have to come out if he was ever to have an honest relationship. Pushing himself to his feet he grabs the duffel bag from the side of the chair and heads out of the cabin to catch his flight back to both of the women in his life.

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Brennan is in the kitchen chopping onions, tears stream down her face as she tries to watch each stroke of her knife. A knock at her door causes her to put down the onion and knife and grab a dishcloth to go and answer her door.

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Gemma puts down her book as she hears a knock at the door, she pushes herself up and goes to answer the door, stubbing her toe on her journey.

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Brennan pulls her door open and smiles widely at her guest. "Hi"

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Gemma opens her door and launches herself into the arms of Booth, he chuckles lightly as she clings to him tightly. "Seeley!"

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Brennan walks back to the kitchen as David closes the door quietly behind him. He shrugs off his jacket and follows her. "I know I'm early… We finished up at the office slightly earlier than expected. Sorry." She shrugs and waves a hand to show she isn't concerned with his timekeeping. "Those onions huh? There was me thinking that you were one of these new age chicks who never cries." Brennan chuckles.

"I try not to, but you've discovered my weakness. Onions kill me." He walks into the kitchen and takes the knife from her, moving aside she allows him to continue chopping them for her.

"Take a seat Tempe, I'll be done in no time." She smiles gratefully and goes to the fridge to pull out a couple of beers. Opening them both she slides one across the counter to him and takes a seat. He watches her for a second before going back to chopping the onions. "So where is he?" She looks at him confused.

'Who?" He rolls his eyes and she looks at her beer sheepishly. "Booth is on vacation with his girlfriend." David looks surprised and nods slowly. He dumps the onions into the casserole dish beside him and pops it into the already heated oven. Picking up his beer he comes over to sit in front of her. He leans across the counter.

"So tell me…. What happened?" She looks at him and sighs before nodding, preparing to tell him everything that had happened and everything that she has been feeling.

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Gemma looks at her hands, Booth shakes his head and runs a hand over his face. She looks to him and seeing the pain etched in his features she bites her lips and brushes a tear from her cheek. He pushes himself to his feet and nods slowly. "I should go….. I'm sorry." She nods not really hearing his words. He walks past her to the door.

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Brennan pushes her plate away from herself and lets out a groan. "I think I ate too much." David smiles and finishes his beer. He picks up her plate and moves to the sink to run them under water and looking at his watch lets out a sigh.

"I guess I should head." She nods and walks him over to the door, he steps out into the hallway and leans forward to place a soft kiss on her cheek. She smiles gently and watches him walk towards the elevator before closing the door.

From the shadows Booth watches. He watches as David walks away from her door, watches as she ducks into the apartment. His heart sinks and he leans against the wall.

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	5. Chapter 5

He wanders out of her building, he'd taken the stairs after stubbornly refusing himself the privilege of using the same elevator as David. He's angry with himself, he'd never thought himself worthyof her, and now he knew that she had never thought him worthy either. Seeing David at her apartment, seeing the intimate gesture that they had shared as David left her alone, had brought all of his feelings to the surface again. He had hoped to come here tonight and talk this out with her, thought that he could chase away her fears of getting involved. Now he could see that she wasn't afraid, he'd read her wrongly, she just didn't want him. As he exited the main doors to her building and fingered for his keys in his pocket he recognised the call of his name.

"Booth?"

Turning quickly he sees a smiling, waving Angela quickly approaching and he struggles to hold in a quiet groan. Company is the furthest thing from his mind right now, beer and tequila are amongst the current favourites. She stops in front of him and takes a quick glance at her watch.

"I didn't think you would be home so soon?" He smiles as genuinely as he can and nods stuffing his hands into his pocket. "I thought Bren was having dinner with David tonight? Bet you that was awkward, you know, you, Bren and the ex…."

Booth doesn't hear what she has said straight away. "It might have been awkward if I had actually gone in….Her ex?" She notes the confused look on his face and makes an O shape with her mouth.

"She didn't tell you? You didn't go in?...You know what, it's freezing here, wanna go for a drink?"

He looks toward the building and nods "Yeah…. You're buying." She smiles mischievously and takes his arm.

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He slides into the corner booth next to Angela and places a drink in front of her. She takes a sip and nods her thanks. "So, tell me exactly what happened tonight?" Booth wipes a weary hand over his face and nods slowly.

"I went there to tell her…everything. These past couple of weeks have been torture. Yesterday I started heading home, I went to see Gemma first. I ended it. I couldn't lie to her about my feelings, about what I had done. I told her about what happened that night… I don't think I will ever forget the look of utter disappointment that I saw in her eyes tonight. But I have to believe that I have done the right thing."

Angela frowns and puts her beer down on the table. "You told her about what happened that night?... You better bring me up to speed, because I have no idea what night it is that you are talking about."

Looking at her he realises that she had never known about his encounter with her best friend. "She never told you." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Watching Angela carefully he lets out a sigh. "Okay. Where do I start?"

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Angela's mouth hangs open and Booth gives her a tired look. "Wow. That is so romantic. I can't believe she didn't just let you scoop her up and carry her to the bedroom."

Booth hangs his head and looks at his hands in defeat. "She doesn't love me. I've already misjudged her disinterest for fear, guess I was to egotistical to believe that she wouldn't want me." He looks at Angela as her hand finds his and she gives it a gentle squeeze.

"Hey. She loves you. She ended it with David, I never asked her why. I never needed to." She looks at him and gives him a genuine smile. "I know her Booth. I know that she's afraid, she is so afraid of the way that you make her feel, because I know that she has never felt that way about anyone. Just like I know that you need to tell her how you feel, you need to be honest. The only way to get her to be honest back is to fight with her. You need to get her angry."

He chuckles slightly and nods. Angela drops his hand and picks up her beer, taking a long swig she bumps Booth with her shoulder and winks. Putting it back down on the table she takes a look across the room and sees a young man at the bar looking her way. "No offence Booth, but you should probably go and tell her now." She nods towards the man at the bar and Booth follows her eyes. "Besides FBI, you are cramping my style."

Booth rolls his eyes in mock offence and slips out of the Booth. Picking up his jacket he looks back at her. Angela adjusts her bra and looks at him quickly. "How do I look? Perky?" He smiles and nods at her. "Go get her G-man." With another quick glance at the man at the bar she gets up and saunters over. Booth shakes his head and makes his way to the door.

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She is just finishing up the dishes when she hears the knock at the door, frowning she looks at her watch and slings the dish cloth over her shoulder. On opening the door she is more than surprised to see Booth on the other side. He gives her a cocky grin and she steps aside to let him in.

"How was your trip?" She closes the door behind him and gestures towards the kitchen.

"Fine, it was nice to get away." He watches her face for any clues of her affection for him but is only rewarded by a confused glance and indifferent shrug. She makes her way back to the sink and taking the towel from her shoulder dries the last mug and places it on the kitchen counter.

"You want a coffee?"

"How about a beer?" Her eyes meet his slowly as she tries to block out their last encounter and nods. "As I was saying, it was good to get away. Gave me a lot of time to think things through." She nods and hands him a beer. "Thanks."

"So how was the weather?"

"Cold. But all that quiet time, it kinda puts things into perspective…. So I came here to.."

"Yeah why did you come here?"

He smiles at her and waggles his finger at her. "If you didn't interrupt, I would be able to tell you." She sighs and pulls up a stool facing him across the counter. "I came tonight to tell you that you were right. You and I, we'd never work. I don't want to ruin our friendship, so I apologise." He watches her for a reaction, she is stunned, looking like she wants to say something she nods mutely and he takes a swig from his bottle to hide his amusement. Frowning she looks at her hands. "Something the matter Bones?" She shakes her head slowly.

"No, everything is fine." Getting up she walks over to the fridge and pulls out a beer for herself.

"Good, I'm glad. I mean, what was I thinking?" He lets out a low chuckle and she looks to him sharply before resuming her place across from him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you and me? Can you imagine it?" He dares to glance up at her and can see her defensive expression. The anger is brewing in her eyes at his scorn. His heart swells with hope.

"Would it be such a ridiculous idea?"

"Quite frankly…yes. I mean, here's you… never been in a stable relationship, you're so defensive and shut off from the world, the love of your life is your career. Then there's me.. I want it all, family life. Nice house, white picket fences and two point four children. We are so mismatched it's almost ridiculous. I want to love, and you don't want to be loved."

When his eyes meet hers again, he can see the barely disguised tears forming behind her eyes. Fire and ice, that's how he'd always thought of her, and now he was about to be drawn into the midst of her storm. Her anger is barely reigned and her voice quivers when he hears her next.

"That's what you think of me?.. Go to hell Booth! I never asked you to have feelings for me. I've never asked anything of you. What right do you have to come here and point out my flaws? You're not without your own!"

"Whoa, Bones. Don't take it so personally." He stands from his stool and makes his way around to her side of the counter.

"Don't take it personally? You think I don't know that I'm not the easiest person in the world to love? You think I don't know that?"

His stomach lurches as he sees tears start to form in her eyes. He knows he has to keep pressing her. "I don't think you know what love is Bones. I don't honestly think you've ever felt it. I don't think you've ever been loved." A tear escapes her eyes and he wants so badly to reach forward and brush it away with his thumb. "Not by David, not by Michael…"

Her eyes are like ice and blue flames dance before him. "You know nothing about me! Don't presume that you know anything about the relationships that I have had."

"I know one thing, you are so afraid of letting anyone close, you keep everyone at an arm's length, and eventually… they get bored trying to get close to you. It's why you'll never be loved." The words sound bitter, even to himself but the sting of her hand making contact with his skin makes him aware that he has hit his mark.

As he brings his eyes back to look at her he can see the fear and panic in her face. She is shocked at her own reaction to his goading, and her eyes only widen more when he smiles at her. Her chest is heaving, her cheeks are flushed and her lips are parted and in this one instant she has never looked more beautiful. Grabbing her by the waist he pulls her to him and presses his lips to hers. He is thrilled to feel her respond beneath his lips. Her passion matching his own as he pushes her against the counter. His hands roam over her back until they bury themselves in her hair, her hands have found their way to his chest and he can feel her fingers clumsily attempting to find the zipper on his jacket to remove it. Pulling his body back from her slightly he lifts her up to wrap her legs around him and slowly walks them both into the bedroom. Lowering them both slowly onto the bed he pulls back and rests his forehead against hers. They are both breathing heavily and the lust in her eyes is making his stomach churn in anticipation.

"Temperance, I can't go through with this if you are going to run away from me as soon as you are able to think straight again…. I love you. I have since the first moment I laid eyes on you… But I can't do this if you aren't in this one hundred percent?"

Her eyes fill with a sudden wonder. "You love me." He smiles and nods shyly. "But you said….."

"Do you love me Temperance?" He has the overwhelming urge to kiss her again, but knows that he can't move forward without her consent. She nods slowly and it's enough to allow him to crush his lips to hers once more.

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_Sorry it took so long to update, my PC is playing up so have had to use someone else's_.


	6. Chapter 6

The passion she is feeling is overwhelming as his hands skilfully skim over the surface of her skin, each feather light touch leaves a blaze in its wake. Up until this moment she has been reacting solely to the euphoric side effects of his ministrations, and now as his fingers reach for the hem of her t-shirt her mind slams into reality. This was her first time, the first time she had ever taken this step with someone that she felt this way about. Hell it's the first time she has felt this way and the fear hits her like a ten tonne weight. Within seconds she has backed away from him and the dread is tying her stomach in knots as she tries to think of what to say.

He sees her backed against the headboard, tears welling up in her eyes. For a few seconds he is afraid that he may have forced her into this, that this isn't what she wants but on looking at her face he is certain that it's not the case. The lust lingers in her eyes, but the fear is painted across her features. Sitting back on his haunches he waits patiently for her explanation.

"I'm sorry Booth, I can't do this…..I've never done this before."

He wants to laugh, but the tears streaming down her cheeks makes the humour taste bad in his mouth. Instead he reaches forward and brushes a tear form her cheek.

"I've never been with someone that I care about, as much as I care about you… I'm no good at this, relationships have never been my strong suit, and you know that better than anyone….I'm sorry."

He takes her hand in his and smiles gently.

"Then I'll wait… I love you. I may not have always known it, but when I did realise I knew that I must have loved you all along. We have all the time in the world Temperance, and you may not be ready tomorrow, or next month… But I'll be here waiting for a time when you are."

"I don't know how to deal with these feelings Booth. I'm so scared, and it's an irrational fear, I know that. But it is just so hard to open up and let someone in."

Booth offers her his hand, when she takes it he pulls her into his arms and places a kiss on her forehead.

"As long as you are willing to try. I know it's not going to be easy, in fact I'm counting on it…. Just don't run from me." She sighs against his chest as he holds her. "How about you get some sleep?"

He lets her go and places a kiss on her lips gently. Pushing himself up from the bed he looks down at her, as he turns to leave she reaches out and takes his hand in hers. He marvels at the size of her smooth slender fingers against the rough skin of his larger ones. Looking at her she smiles gently.

"Stay?... Just to hold me?"

"I'd like that."

She scoots back on the bed and he pulls his shirt over his head and throws it onto the bed, unbuckling his belt, he shrugs his jeans off. When he looks up again she has discarded her bra and cami top and is in the middle of pulling his shirt over her head. He shakes his head as he slides into bed and under the covers. Laying her head on his shoulder she lets out a contented sigh, his fingers caress the smooth skin on her back as he places a gentle kiss on top of her head.

"Booth?"

He looks down his nose at her. "Yeah"

"I love you."

He smiles to himself and gives her shoulders a gentle squeeze. It wasn't going to be easy, but he wouldn't want it any other way.


End file.
